History of Mistrust and Deception

How can you trust someone who betrayed you in the past? Seriously....does anybody know. Is really forgiving the only way to do it... How can you tell if the person is really telling the truth this time or she's just taking you for another ride...

You must be wondering why I'm asking this.. Is this the first time I am betrayed.. the answer is NO.. But in the past when somebody did it to me I'll just simply shrug it off and erase that person in my life as if she doesn't exist.

But this time it's different... because this time I cant turn my back and forget about everything.
I have to deal with it so I can be a happier man.. But how can I do that if the thought of being suckered twice is lingering in the back of my mind...

Can a relationship last even if it has a bad history of mistrust and deception.???

Are you a bad person if you reach your limit?

Ever since I was a child I always practice patience. Enduring the pain caused by obstacles and trials given to me by life , God , karma ( if you believe in it) or even other people.

I always thought there is a rainbow after a violent hurricane.(but come on! what am I going to do with a rainbow right?) (sigh)

I guess what I'm trying to say is everybody deserves a break. Right?

Too much alcohol is bad.
Too much OJ is bad.

Too much night life is bad.
Too much Isolation is bad.

Too much sex is bad.
Too much abstinence is bad.

Too much drama is bad.
And too much bad is definitely BAD.

I believe if something wrong is done to you once we can call that an accident

Done to you twice , we can call that coincidence.

But If it happen again for the third time, I call that on PURPOSE.

And at that point you would reach your limit.

Now tell me .... Are you a bad person for reaching your limit ???

Forgive...Or Get even...

I hate the feeling of being treated unfairly. I mean even if Im not perfect Im still a good guy inside out.. I know I deserve better.. But why is it the world is so unfair to me... Can't I just be happy and not worry about the person I love cheating on me..

(sigh) I really wish the memeory would go away. I wish after this blog a debris would fall out of a building and hit me on the head ... at this point amnesia sounds good.

Even if all the proof I had was destroyed... I still know my girl is not telling me everything...I almost loose my mind trying to come up with an excuse for her , why she is doing this to me..

It crossed my mind to just go out and find myself a mistress.. But that would violate my promise to her and my principles as well....Maybe in my past life I was a whacked chinese warlord and whats happening to me is just karma ...

I do believe I deserve to be Happy... I refuse to give up on happines. I know I will be happy. Maybe If I repeat that over and over in my head , I can make myself believe too.

A Destiny Of Flame and Sorrow

Loving you feeels perfect

and yet It is wrong

I have this feeling inside me

that felt like a storm.

A life without you,

is a life in misery,

but when you are near,

I live in vanity.

It breaks my heart that ,

we cannot be together.

But I will do anything ,

to make you and him assunder.

I know you're committed,

and yes I am too.

But somehow I wish,

there should be us too.

Im burning in confusion

and dying in sorrow.

If Im destined to suffer,

I hope there is no tomorrow.