Forgive...Or Get even...

I hate the feeling of being treated unfairly. I mean even if Im not perfect Im still a good guy inside out.. I know I deserve better.. But why is it the world is so unfair to me... Can't I just be happy and not worry about the person I love cheating on me..

(sigh) I really wish the memeory would go away. I wish after this blog a debris would fall out of a building and hit me on the head ... at this point amnesia sounds good.

Even if all the proof I had was destroyed... I still know my girl is not telling me everything...I almost loose my mind trying to come up with an excuse for her , why she is doing this to me..

It crossed my mind to just go out and find myself a mistress.. But that would violate my promise to her and my principles as well....Maybe in my past life I was a whacked chinese warlord and whats happening to me is just karma ...

I do believe I deserve to be Happy... I refuse to give up on happines. I know I will be happy. Maybe If I repeat that over and over in my head , I can make myself believe too.